The Mort Times
Dead Tree Edition
35 Uni  16 Nov 900
Volume 7
TOP NEWS OF THE WEEK 1

  Two more families in sector were found brutally murdered this week.  They were murdered in the exact same fashion as the family in sector P-213 last week.  In all three cases, no signs of a break-in were found and all the members of the families were skinned with pieces of metal piercing their bodies. A White BPN has been issued, though families are warned not to invite stangers into their homes. -Sara Bryant, SCL 7C, Third Eye News 
 
 

TROUBLE IN GOREZONE LAND?

  The debut of the new Gorezone program "Killing Things for Money" led to a disaster last Wednesday as twelve civilians showed up to compete.  Apparently, Gorezone officials need to work on their screening requirements as one of the civilians turned out to be none other than famed serial killer Nicholas Wrath.
  An alert viewer of the program identified Nicholas Wrath from his Thirteenth Victim appearences and notified SLA Operatives, who crashed the Gorezone program to arrest the serial killer. Chaos resulted as an armed Nicholas shot it out with SLA Ops while Carriens and rabid pigs swarmed through the security breach made by the Operatives in the perimeter and entered the neighboring section of Downtown. All of the contestants were killed along with fifteen civilians and two camera staff.
  Gorezone officials are struggling to contain the bad publicity caused by the event and several civilian protest groups are calling once again for an end to new Gorezone episodes. The one thing Gorezone does have going for it is that the episode drew the highest ratings of the season.
-Peter Bogdasarian, 7B, The Storm Factory
 
 

OUTREACHING  FOR DEVIL'S NIGHT
FIRE VICTIMS  2

  In a rare showing of goodwill, thousands of unis, used clothes and canned foods have been donated to the victims of the fire from Devil's Night.  If you would like to donate, send your donations to your local SSO office. -Sara Brynt, SCL 7C, Third Eye News
 
 

BOOK REVIEW

  The Hunt has reached the best sellers list and has recieved much acclaim.  Award winning author Sam Pay, was not available for comment about his story about a very twisted Necanthrope. Check out CYNET://www.sampay.com/Fiction/ (3) for more stories -Robert Smith, SCL 8C, Mort Times 
 
 

TV GUIDE

     Alien Sex Channel
10pm Animated Feature: Macross Dresser II 
11pm Vevaphones and their uses
12pm The Dr. R’th show 

    SIC TV 
10pm Killing Things For Money 
11pm Highlights of this weeks Gorezone 
12pm Genesis of a Serial Killer

    Channel 8
10pm The adventures of Captain Contract,
     Undercover Blues 
11pm Mort's Most Wanted 
12pm Return of the Night of the Undead
     Carnivore Pigs III.
 
 

A DAY IN THE LIFE 

Neil de Carteret, SCL 9B, Third EyE News reporter 
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Each week we look at one of many valuable but oft forgotten employees of SLA  Industries who keep the world running. 

This week: The barman

NC: Name?
ME: Mark English

NC: Occupation?
ME: Bar Manager at Haydee's, in The Pit

NC: Does it pay well?
ME: Unsociable hours pay, plus tips.

NC: Haydee's is a rough joint. Do you mind working there?
ME: Not at all. It has one of the best atmospheres in the Pit. The clients get a bit rowdy now and again but it's nothing we can't handle. There are a few locals who always try and start something, so the stewards keep tabs on them.

NC: Exactly who is Haydee?
ME: Oh, work it out.

NC: If I came up to the bar in Haydee's and asked you for a Gary Glitter Surprise, what would you give me?
ME: A dental bill. It's been done before, you know.

NC: What is the dress code?
ME: No blood, genitals or unpleasant auras. Apart from that, anything goes. Weapons are checked in at the door of the Pit. Most people turn up in whatever they're wearing; we don't run a posh place. We want people to be able to turn up and just relax with a pint of cold beer. One group of Stormers always turn up in DJs and shades.

NC: Do you give credit?
ME: Only to flying pigs, but Shivers in Silverback don't count.

NC: Describe a typical day.
ME: Week or weekend? Unlike a lot of the Pit, we only open evenings. The average Wednesday goes like this: at about six, Fatty turns up to unlock the place, check the bottles and turn the lighting on. We show up around half past, turn the chairs the right way up, distribute ashtrays and mats, sort the pumps out and assume our positions around the bar. The doors open at seven, although it usually stays pretty quiet until eight. By ten, the tables are full and some people are having to stand. Around midnight, the first fight breaks out and the medics drag a few people away. The atmosphere escalates until at about three we slam the floodlights on and the stewards start coaxing people out. By four, the only people left are dead or stupid. Enforcers patrol the pit and if anyone's being difficult they get the sharp end of a 603. Firm but fair, that's what I say. We can go home by half four.

NC: And the weekend?
ME: Like the other days, except the first fight starts at around seven.

NC: Is the beer watered?
ME: You'll have to check with Wave for that one. It's certainly strong enough to turn calm, rational Frothers into gibbering freaks inside three hours.

NC: Wave?
ME: Figure of speech. Sorry.

NC: Do you have any famous patrons?
ME: Is that a joke or do you want me to say it? Yes, we did have a fairly famous patron once. Halloween Jack came in through one of the loft lights. No one knew what to do; he just glided down to the dance floor and strolled over to the bar, calm as you like. The DJ stopped the music, probably more by accident than anything else - leaned on a switch or something. Third Eye were there, heck knows how. He walked up to one of the temp girls and stared at her. Then he said "Blood?". She had started turning, like there was a bottle of AB+ behind her or something, when he just kind of lifted his axe into her. It wasn't a strike or a sweep or anything, he just lifted the blade up over the bar and into her.  I don't think I'll ever forget seeing that.

NC: Well, we'll leave you with that thought. Thank you for your time.
ME: Time, people, please.

 

PAGE 1


 
THE SHIVER REPORT

  Power and water was finally restored to all sectors after the damage done on Devil's Night. The Shivers and repair crews would like to thank everyone for being understanding during this period. Rewards are still being offered for any information leading to the conviction of arsonist in this years rampage.
 
 

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

  As editor of The Mort Times, Dead Tree Edition, I try to answer all questions concerning our paper and the reports in a public forum. -Eric Larsen, SCL 7C, Mort Times 

Dear MT,
  It seems that you're having trouble keeping up with putting the Mort Times out.  Why is that? -Joe Public

Dear Joe,
  The production was temporarily halted by a small crisis in the editors life.  We are back on line and will get our production back on schedule.  We do apologize about the inconvience that you may have incurred.
---

Dear MT,
  I was wondering about those poor people who were without water or power for the 2 weeks after the Devil's Night fires.  Is anything being done for them? -Krysea, Ebon

Dear Krysea,
  The SSO has been working with the victims and providing some shelters.  If you are interesting in donating money or clothing, you can send it to the local SSO office and they will distribute it among the victims.
---
 
 

CLASSIFIEDS 

    Duct Tape for sale. 500 rolls for only 1uni each. Contact Adnate at 05-785-5076. 

  Do you have what it takes to be a Shiver? Contact you locale Shiver Station to apply. Great Pay, good benefits and job security. Help protect Mort and serve SLA Industries.

  Be a contestant for the Mort Carrien Lotto and help determine the future for one lucky winner.  Contact Craig Magee at 07-MCL-LOTO.

PAGE 2

1) The Top New Story is a feeder story for Burning Chrome.

2) The Devil's Night help story can be used as part of a variety of cult movement BPNs of which there are a couple, I just can't remember any of them at the moment :)

3) The CYNET designation before the "web address" is used without permission from tHE bIG pICTURE fanzine, issue 7.