The Mort Times
Dead Tree Edition
35 Uni 18 Oct 900
Volume 3 

 
TOP NEWS OF THE WEEK

    The Vampyre claims yet another victim.  Aries, husband of the late Jade, killed 2 weeks ago, was found dead yesterday.  The late operative was found with large holes ripped through his chest and as one doctored was noted saying "...it looks like his chest rotted away from what ever hit him..." His body was found in the rest room of a downtown club called The Mythology.  Witness claim they saw him chase another man into the rest room and then there was a loud screaming noise from the bathroom.  Shivers showed up about 10 minutes later and when they entered the bathroom, they found Aries' destroyed body.  SGT. Hopskins was not available for questioning and Aries' children have been put into the orphanage. -Freddy Lennon, SCL 4D, Channel 8 reporter 
 


ROUGE OPERATIVE DESTROYS SOFT COMPANY

    A 3 day bloody murder streak has ended.  Apparently Rouge Necanthrope Devon, killed over 40 people in his rampage that started downtown and ended up in a fire fight in Suburbia.  The victims where all members or in the employment of a pharmaceutical soft company.  Leaving his distinctive emblem of a crow on all his victims, his scourge covered many homes and clubs with the brutal remains of his victims.  Once he killed Gant, the soft company's leader, he vanished and has not been seen since.  -Robert Smith, SCL 8C, Mort Times
 


SHIVER UNITS ATTACKED

     A new soft company launched a deadly attack against a group of SHIVERS today.  The as yet unnamed group attacked the patrol as it swept through Downtown around 18:00.  Two SHIVERS lost their lives before the company was driven off with Gauss Rifles.  Any information leading to the termination of this group carries a 50Uni reward.  -Robert Smith, SCL 8C, Mort Times
 


THE CONTRACT CIRCUIT 

    Combat has begun in Sector G-10.  New to the circuit, Blaine Wishsong, made some spectacular kills doing the testing of the carrien kill zone. Most of the veterans are taking bets on how long Blaine will last.  For more information contact George O’Malley at 02-493-8761. 
 


TV GUIDE

    Alien Sex Channel
10pm Animated feature:  My Love Slave Totoro. 
11pm Proper use of horse fetish gear with Domintrix the 
          Necanthrope. 
12pm The Dr. R’th show 

    SIC TV 
10pm Highlight of today's Gorezone 
11pm Hunting Carrien Pigs in the Sewers 
12pm Choosing the proper Ammunition with Commander
          Cradle 

 

    Channel 8 
10pm The adventures of Captain Contract, DN 
          Stalkings 
11pm Serial Killers and You.  How not to become a 
          victim. 
12pm Late Night Movie, The Return of the Undead 
          Carrien Pigs II 
 
 

A DAY IN THE LIFE

Neil de Carteret, SCL 9B, Third EyE News reporter 
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Each week we look at one of many valuable but oft forgotten employees of SLA  Industries who keep the world running. 

This week: The Crib Girl 

N: Name? 
H: Hillary Best 

N: Occupation? 
B: BluePrint News Hall teller. 

N: Does it pay well? 
B: I get 1% of the pay for every job that I give out that gets completed.  That's my incentive to match up the right squad to the right job. 

N: What do you have to do? 
B: When I get into work, I get a list of BPNs that have been assigned to me.  When a squad comes in, I look up their profile, and work out which jobs would work for them. If there's something waiting urgently, I'll just give it to them.  Otherwise they get a choice. 

N: People hate queuing in the crib. Does there have to be such a long wait? 
B: Sure, unless you want one teller per squad. Waiting three hours for a job is nothing when you think there are people out there who've been waiting their whole lives for a job. 

N: But they aren't ops. 
B: And that make ops better, does it? They have to wait in line just like everyone else. 

N: Some would say that spending a morning queuing is waste of a trained OP’s time. 
B: We're not paying them to queue. They could always get an agent if they find it's a problem. We operate a tight ship: job to squad inside twenty-four hours.  That's efficiency. 

N: More and more squads are choosing to get their BPNs electronically.  Does that threaten you? 
B: Not at all. We offer a specific match-making service. You don't get that over the 'phone. 

N: You don't think ops are able to work out for themselves what they're capable of? 
B: I think they need a bit of looking after. New squads tend to bite off more than they can chew. Blues are very good starting points, not yellows, greens or (heaven forbid) blacks. 

N: Thank you for your time. Ms. Best. 
B: Thank you. 
 

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THE SHIVER REPORT

    Sector C-2 is now settled back to normal activities.  The Apostle lost their leader in fighting on Thursday and have since ceased all the activities in the area.  Shivers are currently restoring the order to the area.  Citizens are advised on the potential hazards that may still exist, but Shiver service to the area has been returned. 

    Shivers advise all persons still living in sector G-10 to relocate immediately.  The GoreZone is moving into the neighborhood.  Any deaths in this sector are not held accountable to SLA or it’s subsidiaries. 
 


OBITUARIES

    Aries, 28, died late yesterday while chasing the Vampyre in a downtown club.  He is survived by his two children, Aries Jr. and Amythist. Services will be held at Dorsey's funeral home Wednesday at 3pm. 
 


LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

    As editor of  The Mort Times, Dead Tree Edition, I try to answer all questions concerning our paper and the reports in a public forum.  -Eric Larsen, SCL7C, MT 

Dear MT, 
    What makes serial killers like the Vampyre do what they do?  What goes on in their head that makes them kill such innocents as Jade?  They are a terrible curse that must be eradicated. - SGT H. 
 

Dear SGT H. 
    I'm not a psychologist, however, some of the top researchers in the field have done some work on this subject.  You can find an article by Whitt and Max on the SLA-L that will hopefully explain some of the problems we are dealing with. 
---
 


CLASSIFIEDS

    Cavaharvey in good condition with more than 20,000 hours of life left. Must sell, Owner is being transferred to Dante.  Contact Augustus Pope at 06-876-3568. 

    Actors needed for upcoming documentary of the World of Progress. Contact Derek Johnston, SCL 6D, BC in U at 05-876-8763. 

     FEN 30-30 for sale.  This good quality, well conditioned weapon has the fire power to kill you enemies dead.  It comes with a 1000 meter IR scope, recoil baffling and 4 magazines.  800 credits OBO, serious inquiries only.  Contact Montare, SCL 5B, of Hellfire at 01-542-7849. 

    Do you have what it takes to be a Shiver?  Contact you locale Shiver Station to apply.  Great Pay, good benefits and job security.  Help protect Mort and serve your company. 

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