A race riot broke out in Downtown as DiStORtioN was exonerate of wrong doing in the slaughter of three humans and the injury of six more last week, when they fired into a crowd of rioters while trying to suppressing them. 
  SHIVERS arrested 15 people in connection with hate crimes and the riot, 5 of whom were attempting to desecrate SGT. Belkins grave site.  An estimated 5,000,000Uni in damages was done to the surrounding area. -Quill, SCL 9, Mort Times
 
 

  The Mort Education System recently received a grant from SLA Industries to upgrade all the Audio/Visual Equipment in the school systems.  One Mort Central Principal was quoted "This $15 Billion Uni investment will go along way to improving the quality of education in our schools, thank you Mr. Slayer!" -Sara Bryant, SCL 7C, Third Eye News
 
 

  With the success of 3E's weapons release late last year, they've moved forward with new and innovated releases.  Among the releases were two new weapons destined for popularity. 
  The 3E-Osprey, a light repeating crossbow, capable of rapid fire, accuracy and damage.  Operated with a lever that not only assists in re-cocking the crossbow, but drops a new bolt in from a magazine, allows you to peg your enemies quicker.
  The 3E-Eagle II, with an over and under release design, will let the enemy to easily see your point. 
  New accessories include laser painters, scopes, an assortment of specialized arrows and the Pin Feather.  The 3E-Pinfeather fits onto the 3E-Eagle and holds 4 bolts.  The patented shotgun grips allowing the user to fire and reload in a more efficient manner to kill his enemies dead.
  Tripe E, go for the style and best of all, no bullet tax. -Eric Larsen, SCL7C, Mort Times
 
 

   The 1st annual Pizza Bake off was held in Mort Central earlier this week.  Forty-
five different companies from all over Mort came to show their talents.  After a long and grueling day of pizza tossing and cooking, Secret Pizza won hands down.  Secret Pizza, a virtually unheard of company until now, had little to say about his success, "it was freakin easy...  can I get some drugs instead of that cash?"  Later on, when asked where his store was located at he replied, "It's a secret. My tele is 08-985-7549 and if you can tell me where I'm at, the pizza's free." and as for his specialty pizza, "you tell me what you want, and I'll put it on there for you."  With drugs in hand, The Secret Pizza man drove towards downtown on his trusty scooter. -Matt Dennison, SCL 6B, Mort Times
 
 

     Alien Sex Channel
10 pm Animate Feature: La Blue Ebon III
11 pm Bio-enhancers, not just for show
12 pm The Dr. R’th show

    SIC TV 
10 pm Killing Things For Money 
11 pm Highlights of this weeks Gore Zone 
12 pm Heaters and Broadswords, combat for 
   Frothers

    Channel 8
10 pm The adventures of Captain Contract, 
   Fires of Chaos
11 pm Mort's Most Wanted 
12 pm Late Night Movie:  Serpent Isle

    MSN
10 pm Speed Ball, Baroque vs. Renegades
11 pm Polo Ice skating competitions
12 pm SLA Football League, Polo Icebergs 
   vs. Orienta Athletics
 

Quill, SCL 9, Mort Times
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Each week we look at one of many people who live and work in the World of Progress.

This week: The Skin Trader

MT: Name?
ST: You've gotta be kidding me, man.

MT: Oh, how so?
ST: I tell you my name, Mr. Slayer himself will prolly skin my ass.  Just call me Mr. SkinTrader, k?

MT: Alright Mr. SkinTrader, why do you trade flesh?
ST: Another stupid question, don't they teach you nothin' in them schools?  I trade flesh cuz it's profitable.  See that young girl over there, she's get me 100k for her skin alone.  That don't count the rest of her.

MT: Who buys it?
ST: Man, you got to stop with these dumb ass questions or I'm outta here.  You see that blemish on your forehead. Yeah, that one.  People don't like it, so they par for REAL flesh.  They don't like their eyes, skin, limbs so they pay for 'em.

MT: But with Karma, why?
ST: Man, I don't know and I don't care.  I get the bodies and I get the cash.  Maybe the like having the REAL thing instead of that putrid stuff Karma puts out. Maybe their afraid to get that little worm in their brains.  Maybe they don't want their soul going to Slayer.  Who cares, I don't as long as I get my money.

MT: Ok, so how do you get the bodies?
ST: Well, at least that ain't so stupid a question.  I get the dumb ones.  Think of it as my contribution to the betterment on the World of Progress. I go to clubs, bars, hell I even go to churches.  I woo and lure them out into an alley, their homes or carry them from the club after they've drunk too much.  I drug them, knock them out, use tazers or shoot them if I only need certain parts.  I harvest what I need and go.  

MT: So how do avoid getting caught?
ST: hmph... I change the way I look.  I don't even remember my original face, I've changed it so much.  

MT: I see, well is there anything else you'd like to add?
ST: Sure, I can get you some flesh for that spot on you forehead, only 1000creds.

  A 25,000 Uni reward is being offered for any information leading to the arrest of Eft Estampida.  Eft is a blonde, human who wears a red trench coat, sunglasses and carries a Blitzer.

  Gore Zone will be moving to Downtown Sector G-14 for Autumn Armageddon. Residents are advised to relocate. Contact Gore Zone officials for more information and assistance in relocation.
 
 

This weeks winning numbers are: 
3 2 6 1 5 7 0 2

Jackpot is current 1,474,653u

5 numbers = free ticket. 
            Odds of winning 1 in 32,768
6 numbers = 10u.
            Odds of winning 1 in 262,144
7 numbers = 1000u.
            Odds of winning 1 in 2,097,152
8 numbers = jackpot.
            Odds of winning 1 in 16,777,216

  Tanning bed for sale; Price: 995 credits
Description: Wolfe Sunquest 24 bulb tanning bed. Less than 50 hours on bed. Like new.
Included lots of lotions, gels etc. Must sell. Make offer. John 08-574-9356.

  Do you have what it takes to be a Shiver? Contact you local Shiver Station to apply. Great Pay, good benefits and job security. Help protect Mort and serve SLA Industries. Shiver Station and SLA Industries are an Equal Opportunity Employer.

  News reporters needed. If you have a story, we want to print it.  Serious inquiries only. Contact Eric Larsen at 03-129-4729 

  Thanks Dr. R'th, you're the best. Quill

  Serve the Monarch Police and protect your community. Specialized training, career options and plenty of opportunities for advancement is only a phone call away. Contact your local Monarch Police Station and help end the violence.

  Do you have what it takes to make money, survive and claim the admiration of your fellow man. "Shooting Things For Money" is looking for you! Contact Gore zone at 07-STF-MONEY.