The Mort Times
Dead Tree Edition
35 Uni   18 Jan 901
Volume 16
TOP NEWS OF THE WEEK 
Vagrants Fire in Downtown Warehouse Kills 3

  At least three persons were killed Tuesday by a fire in an officially empty warehouse in the HillTop neighborhood in downtown.
  The deserted three-story warehouse was home to over a dozen vagrants, Shivers said. The transient nature of the occupants, and their illegal status, makes positive identification of the dead difficult.
  The building was gutted, with only one partial wall still standing. Shivers were unable to give a cause for the blaze. -Brad Lightfoot, SCL 8A, Third EyE News
 
 

SPEED BALL
It's A Whole New Ball Game

  The violence has returned to Mort for another season of pulse pounding excitement. Eight teams, high on adrenaline and drugs, square off again in what promises to be another outstanding year at the arenas.  These no holds barred matches will be shown LIVE, exclusively on SIC TV. Start cheering for your favorite team now. -Cynic, SCL 7C, SIC TV
 
 

EFT ESTAMPIDA STRIKES TERROR 
IN SUBURBIA

  Three square blocks of suburbia where blocked off yesterday as Operatives and SHIVERS tracked down Eft to a home in Suburbia.  The shoot out that followed left little of the house still standing.  Eft, however, got away leaving the Operative Squad short a few members.
  Although injuries were high once again, in this latest outbreak, no civilian casualties occurred in the destruction of the suburban community. -Sara Bryant, 
SCL 7B, Third EyE News 
 
 

REVIEWS 

  A new band called The Ebbusers has just released their first audio slug - and it is hot. The success of the slug is particularly amazing because the group recorded and released the slug without sponsorship.
  The slug, "Through the Lightning, featuring the single "Healing the White," is the number one request at clubs, and the Ebbusers themselves have played to wildly enthusiastic crowds all over downtown, including a sold out date at the Hold.
  Vocalist Whisper writes many of the bands songs, in the emerging blood metal thrash rock fusion style.  Backed by guitarist Crossfire, bassist Wolfman and drummer Bait, her magical songs are taking The Ebbusers to the top of the charts. -Sara Bryant, SCL 7B, Third EyE News 
 

TV GUIDE

     Alien Sex Channel
10 pm Animate Feature: La Blue Ebon II
11 pm Snatch to the Future
12 pm The Dr. R’th show

    SIC TV 
10 pm Killing Things For Money 
11 pm Highlights of this weeks Gore Zone 
12 pm How to protect your front grill 
   plate against road kill

    Channel 8
10 pm The adventures of Captain Contract, 
   Infohazard
11 pm Mort's Most Wanted 
12 pm Late Night Movie: Like Water For 
   Flux
 


A DAY IN THE LIFE 

Quill, SCL 9, Mort Times
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Each week we look at one of many people who live and work in the World of Progress.

This week:  The Cameraman

MT: Name?
MF: Meth "Radar" Feylin

MT: Job?
MF: I'm a cameraman for Third Eye News

MT: Is being a cameraman dangerous?
MF: Mostly when filming Ops. They go where the danger is and we follow.

MT: Have you ever been hurt?
MF: Hell yes, both legs and my left arm I lost when Thresher ambushed the team we were filming.

MT: How did you survive?
MF: Ops aren't the only people investing in LAD.  Most of my fellow cameraman have bigger accounts that a lot of Ops do.

MT: Film anyone famous?
MF: I got some quick shots of Deity.  I was the first to get Delia on film.

MT: Really?  That must have gotten you a pretty credit.
MF: After I held out on it, yes.  I usually try to film new groups and save them for later.  Who knows if they're going to become famous one day.

MT: So you specialize in new Ops?
MF: Whenever possible.  I don't do the reporting, but a picture says a thousand words and I have thousands of shots.

MT: Anything you'd like to tell the New Operatives out there?
MF: Get an angle, get style and get seen.

MT: Thank you for your time.
MF: See you at 6.

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THE SHIVER REPORT

  A 5,000 Uni reward is being offered for any information leading to the arrest of Eft Estampida.  Eft is a blonde, human who wears a red trenchcoat, sunglasses and carries a Blitzer.

  Snarl, Wraith Raider, SCL 10, was shipped off to Dante this week after impeding a SLA Operative and shooting the same Operative in the chest at point blank range. The Operative, Vash SCL 10, survived the attack and has return to his normal duties.
 
 

OBITUARIES

  Jason Doom, Human, SCL 10, died in CS1 after becoming lost and abandoned by his squad.  He was murdered by a manchine, who now works using the skin from Doom's face as a ridiculous mask. 1
 
 

MORT CARRIEN LOTTO

This weeks winning numbers are: 
4 4 3 0 6 6 3 3

Jackpot is current 2,403,000u

5 numbers = free ticket. 
            Odds of winning 1 in 32,768
6 numbers = 10u.
            Odds of winning 1 in 262,144
7 numbers = 1000u.
            Odds of winning 1 in 2,097,152
8 numbers = jackpot.
            Odds of winning 1 in 16,777,216
 


 

EDITORIALS

  As editor of The Mort Times, Dead Tree Edition, I try to answer all the questions concerning our paper and the reports in a public forum. -Eric Larsen, SCL 7A, Mort Times

Dear Readers,
  Seems that we're doing a good job, besides running <way> behind schedule, and no major complaints have come crashing down on our heads in the form of Cloak Division. I would like to take this moment to congratulate and thank Sara Bryant for her extraordinary work for this paper and her promotion to SCL 7B. Thanks for all your hard work Sara.
 
 

CLASSIFIEDS 

  Speedball season is starting up again! Tryouts start next week.  It's a whole new ball game!  Contact Cynic at 0-Speed-Ball.

  Do you have what it takes to be a Shiver? Contact you local Shiver Station to apply. Great Pay, good benefits and job security. Help protect Mort and serve SLA Industries. Shiver Station and SLA Industries are an Equal Opportunity Employer.

  News reporters needed. If you have a story, we want to print it.  Serious inquiries only. Contact Eric Larsen at 03-129-4729 

  Serve the Monarch Police and protect your community. Specialized training, career options and plenty of opportunities for advancement is only a phone call away. Contact your local Monarch Police Station and help end the violence.

  Romulus for sale.  Only 50,000KM, state of the art stereo system, Nava-map, tinted window, turbo charged engine and harden exterior.  45,000 Creds, OBO. Call Weiran at 08-604-7842, evenings.

  Do you have what it takes to make money, survive and claim the admiration of your fellow man. "Shooting Things For Money" is looking for you! Contact Gore zone at 07-STF-MONEY.

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Thanks to Erasmo aka Teeth and his victim... er.. players for this one.

The Hockey Stixtm  was donated by Craig Magee