SHIVER authorities have announced that the deaths of two teenage gang members last week are linked to a body found this morning. The victim who is as of yet unnamed is believed to be the victim of an up and coming serial killer. In an unusual show of concern an Operative Squad is already being called in to deal with the threat before the death toll can mount. The Serial killer scrawled the word 'Abandon' into all three corpses and SLA authorities would like to clarify the killer (believed to be female) is in no-way connected to the Contract Killer of the same name. Abandon (C.K.) was unavailable for comment. -Sara Bryant, SCL 7C, Third Eye News
 
 

  Look around you, they're everywhere in our lives, protecting us, serving us and never look at them twice, SHIVERS. After years of being poorly treated, they're finally getting a small reward.  Effective 1 January 901 SD, all SHIVERS, will be getting a 5% pay raise. This move by Commander Cradle, will hopefully improve the morale of this vastly overwork group.
  Mixed feelings can be felt over this recent announcement, from relief and joy, to resentment. Which ever the case, the recruiting stations for SHIVER is already showing a 20% increase in applications. -Tom Wilson, SCL 8A, Shiver Station
 
 

  Flush with the ratings success of the "Killing Things For Money" episode that accidentally featured Nicholas Wrath, Third Eye has announced plans to open the show to recruits from Bethlehem Asylum.  Each week, one of the contestants will be a SERIAL KILLER - and it is up to the other contestants to try to stop the serial killer before he hunts THEM down.
  Operative Squads are being employed on a stand-by basis to keep the Serial Killers in line and prevent any bystanders from being "accidentally murdered."  No word has yet been posted on which squads have been selected.
  Interviews with civilians about the new Third Eye policy have drawn mixed responses.  Donald Young, currently in Mort Central hospital for reconstructive surgery on his jaw, had the following statement: "If they put that bastard Nikki Bekker on the show, then hell, I'd sign right up.
I'd love another shot at him."
  Other civilian responses have not been so favorable.  Ernest Metz of 2107 Falkirk Street ranted at our interviewer, threatening at one point to "squish him like a grape."  On a similar note, Paulo Martinez told our interviewer that "this is Third Eye's lowest ploy for attention yet."
  Well, Paulo, I guess we'll find out when the ratings come in. -Peter Bogdasarian, 
SCL 7B, The Storm Factory
 
 

  Strange food? Nay - ethnic diversity. There are many different delicacies to be found throughout Mort.  For further reading try 'Eating Out & Other Adventures' by Morten Hackett (Colonel K Publishing) or 'Getting by on 5unis a day' by Noreen Ayles; you could also check out some of the Rough Guides to Downtown, their guide to CS1 is really quite humorous. -Garry Francious, SCL 8B, Channel 8
 

     Alien Sex Channel
10 pm Animate Feature: Return of the 
   OverCarrien
11 pm Leather the waster: She's muscular,
   beautiful, flavorfully tatooed, and
   pissed. 
12 pm The Dr. R’th show 

    SIC TV 
10 pm Killing Things For Money 
11 pm Highlights of this weeks Gore Zone 
12 pm Winter Warfare Expo, this years
   weapons of the year.

    Channel 8
10 pm The adventures of Captain Contract, 
     Thresher Strikes Back (pt. 2 of 3)
11 pm Mort's Most Wanted 
12 pm Late Night Movie: Immoral Kombat
 
 

Neil de Carteret, SCL 9B, Third EyE News reporter 
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Each week we look at one of many people who live and work in the World of Progress.

This week: We interview a shiver and a monarch.

NC: Names?
SH: Shiver Lt. Daniel Thraughn.
MO: Monarch Lt. Peter Wirder.

NC: Occupation?
SH: Patrol Shiver.
MO: Patrol Monarch.

NC: Does it pay well?
SH: Did I hear you right?
MO: I get by.

NC: We're all tired of hearing Shivers
    moaning about lousy working conditions,
    being bossed about by their superiors
    and generally not being granted full
    SCLs. How bad is it really?
SH: You're tired of hearing that, are you?
    Well bizarrely enough, we're tired of
    being treated like 114s. We'd all be up
    to our ears in carcasses, with ops
    dying on roof tops because they forgot
    to arrange transport without us.
MO: Oh, bless. Ickle shiver feels
    threatened.
SH: Well ickle monarch never been sent on a
    three hour trek to find a missing head,
    has he?
MO: No, only twelve-hour treks to find some
    kid's missing DAF.
SH: Shit, sorry, I didn't realize monarch
    did so much to protect our bloody
    pussycats.
MO: So if your kid lost his cat, you'd go
    looking for it, would you?
SH: I don't have any kids.
MO: Surprise me.

NC: Apparently, monarchs are paid more than
    Shivers. Anyone care to comment?
SH: Probably danger money for all those
    nasty cat inflicted scratches. Of
    course, a horde of enraged Carrien is
    child splay in comparison.
MO: I suppose the fact that I'm capable of
    reading helped in my career choice.
SH: Well I'd have been a Monarch too, but
    they found out that my toes aren't
    webbed.
MO: Not since that freak shaving accident,
    anyway.
SH: At least I don't look like I haven't
    started shaving yet.

NC: An old bone of contention is
    operative's attitudes to law
    enforcement. Is there really a problem.
MO: Not really. We have a good working
    relationship with operatives.
SH: Probably all those pets you've saved.
MO: Will you leave it with pets!
SH: Maybe I'll just leave the pets with the
    Monarchs.
MO: So you're acknowledging our role, then?
SH: Sure, I guess if you roll the
    operatives, they'll be nicer to you.

(At this point the interview broke down into fisticuffs).

  Shivers are offering a reward for any information that leads to the apprehension of the Golem. 

  Last week, a large shoot out in downtown, brought Shivers to a massacre behind The Razor's Edge bar and grill. Witnesses are asked to contact SGT. Phillips at 01-687-8765.

  The acceptable alcohol level of drivers is being made stricter.  The blood alcohol levels are being lowered to .08 and become effect on December 31, 900SD.
 

  Maddisson, Human Death Squad was killed in action yesterday. Maddisson was the victim of a viscous Dark Night sniper attack that resulted in his untimely death. SLA authorities would like to thank the Operatives who were able to subdue the assailants. His squad would like to say that he conducted his final actions with the bravery and professionalism expected of a SLA Operative and he will be sorely 
missed. The memorial service will be held this coming Tuesday. Due to the nature of his injuries his funeral will not be open coffin. 
 
 

This weeks winning numbers are: 
4 6 1 0 7 7 1 4

Jackpot is current 1,480,000u

5 numbers = free ticket. 
            Odds of winning 1 in 32,768
6 numbers = 10u.
            Odds of winning 1 in 262,144
7 numbers = 1000u.
            Odds of winning 1 in 2,097,152
8 numbers = jackpot.
            Odds of winning 1 in 16,777,216

  As editor of the Mort Times, Mort's Dead Tree Edition, I try to answer all questions concerning out paper and the reports in a public forum.

---

  FAO: Editors and readers of the Mort Times 

  In volume 7 (seven) of this publication, reference was made to a work of fiction by the author Sam Pay. I thought it prudent to inform members of the public that Mr. Pay will no longer be publishing such works, due to his ongoing discussion with Internal Affairs and Dark Lament concerning the use of real names without permission. -Necanthrope Jekyll, Dark Lament R&D
 
 

  Do you have what it takes to be a Shiver? Contact you local Shiver Station to apply. Great Pay, good benefits and job security. Help protect Mort and serve SLA Industries.

  Be a contestant for the Mort Carrien Lotto and help determine the future for one lucky winner.  Contact Craig Magee at 07-MCL-LOTO.

  Serve the Monarch Police and protect your community.  Specialized train, career options and plenty of opportunity to advance is only a phone call away.  Contact your local Monarch Police Station and help end the violence.

  Pool Table, full size, high quality 3 piece slate, includes accessories. 650c Contact Aaron at 05-759-9815

  Drivers wanted for Jiffy Pizza. All applicants must have a license and clean driving record. If you want your pizzas in a hurry, just call Jiffy.